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Trust Me Again!!!

1/19/2012

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Your heart feels as if it’s been split in two. The betrayal was deep and the wounds appeared to be a little more than you could bear.  You question yourself, “Why in the world is this happening to me?”, and you question the betrayer with hopes that their answers will set you free. You kick and scream as if the atmosphere should give in to your requests for knowledge and understanding, but it doesn’t.  You paint your face and go out wearing a smile even though it feels as if it kills you to breathe. Days have passed and the dust settled and before you know it the reconciliation process begins. Your participation in the conversation in that moment requires you to listen. While you listened, you heard the words “Trust Me Again”.  Yes, your betrayer had the audacity to ask you to trust him/her again as if you could start trusting in that moment.

Sometimes we are hurt by the people closest to us. We depend on them to lend an ear, comfort us, protect us and we expect them to be people we can trust.  As time goes on, we find out that they are not who we thought they were. Our best friends often choose to share our secrets with others; and our significant others decide to share themselves with someone else. We do our best to put up a front in an effort to co – exist with the betrayer even though we wish they would just disappear. 

Nothing in life can prepare you for the hurt and brokenness caused by being betrayed by someone you love. It’s 2012 and you’re looking forward to everything it has to offer; but somewhere down the line you realized that some of your baggage rolled over into it. As you evaluate who’s in your life and whether or not they should continue to be, you notice unresolved issues. It’s never easy to write people out of your life and there are times when you must learn to exist with that person even though it’s difficult.  When the person that hurt you is very close to you: spouse, significant other, child(ren’s) father, best friend, sibling etc… You are forced to deal with trust related issues with that person. 

“Trust Me Again” simply means that the betrayer has offended you before, asked for forgiveness and somewhere down the line they regained your trust only to betray you again. Making a decision as to how you can move forward with that person will always be yours alone. Some may choose to not be bitten by a snake twice; while others feel the relationship is worth the fight. 

When considering whether or not to trust again, consider the relationship in its totality and how much that person means to you. Everyone knows how much their willing to take and when they’ve had enough. At the end of the day, you are left with a choice and will forever live with the choice you make regarding that person. There is never an easy answer when it comes to dealing with relationships and trust, but there should be an easy answer as to what’s best for you and your personal well-being.  

I often consider the sincerity of the person even though there is no real way to tell if they’re really sincere. Depending on the person and my wanting to continue in a relationship with them, I will generally ask, “What does I’m sorry mean to you?”

How are you currently dealing with “Trust Me Again” issues? Have you found your strategies to be effective? 


MMB
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Photos used under Creative Commons from martinak15, Gustavo Minas, L`Yoshka