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Are You A Hater?

3/23/2012

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I would take the risk in saying many of us love music.  When we listen to certain songs, there is something that seems to connect with us emotionally.  Some of the songs make us laugh, cry or remind us of something or someone from our past.  A few days ago, I stumbled upon this song by Miranda Brooke called “Hater”. She details out how she’s hating on this woman because she appears to be able to get all the things out of her male companion that she wanted. “You’re in love, I’m alone; it’s not fair. She gets the good guy; I get the player” are some of the lyrics that stuck out like a sore thumb with me. I didn’t connect to the song because I feel like I’m a hater, but the perception about the relationship this man is having with this other woman is what caught my attention.

In the video, I don’t think she fully indicated that she and this man are no longer in a relationship. However, it was clear that the relationship was not healthy for her. She begins feeling as if she was unworthy or that the other woman was doing something right and she was doing something wrong; perception & impression.  

For informational purposes, let’s take a look at the words perception and impression. Perception can be defined as “the process of using the senses to acquire information about the surrounding environment or situation” and impression can be defined as “an attitude or understanding based on what is observed or thought”.

We can’t control how our significant others love us.  All we know is that we want them too. If they are incapable of loving and being faithful and you no longer desire to dwell with them, let them go. Don’t carry around the emotional baggage associated with the relationship because it will only make you bitter. It will also set you up for failure in your next relationship. It’s a horrible feeling to walk around feeling that you’re not worthy or good enough to be loved. Those feelings will lead you into a different direction in life all together. 

I know these things are soooo much easier said than done, but letting it go, forgiving, and moving on with your life will help you. Learning from the experience itself will make you stronger, but you’ve got to be willing to learn from them. 

I don’t think we should walk around green with envy or jealous of anyone about the things that we perceive they have. This is a lesson that I learned early in life. I attended church with this lady whom I thought was flawless.  Her hair, her clothes, her jewelry & her make up were always on point. She was educated, owned her own home and everything just seemed to be on point. The more I talked to her, the more I realized she was just like me. One day we went to the department store and she picked up a piece of jewelry from one of the tables in the aisles and purchased it. I would never have imagined that she would even wear something that looked like gold but wasn’t. My perception before I got to know her made me think certain things about her that just weren’t true.

In relationships, males and females do impressive things in the beginning.  However, a little later on down the line both are exposed for who they really are. There’s a great chance that the woman that appears to be winning over the guy’s heart in the video will end up with the same type of man that the woman in video was singing about. She may find herself singing those same lyrics about about the next woman he becomes infatuated with later on down the line.  Don’t be a hater. 

MMB
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Photos used under Creative Commons from martinak15, Gustavo Minas, L`Yoshka