Please share TBLS with a friend!
  The Bag Lady Speaks!
  • Blog
    • Fiscal Fridays
    • TBLS Contributors
  • TBLS
    • Our Products >
      • TBLE Disclaimer
  • TBLE
  • Contact Us

Victim or Victorious ?

11/18/2014

Comments

 
PictureTonya D. Zeigler
Recently, Iyanla Vanzant did a series of shows featuring a man named Jay who fathered 34 children by 17 different women.  As a single mom, I felt a number of emotions while watching the show.    I experienced feelings of disgust, outrage, sadness, sympathy, and eventually understanding.  What I came to understand was that Jay’s issues were way deeper than he even anticipated.  His desire to be loved caused him to seek that love in all of the wrong places and make many terrible decisions along the way.

As the shows progressed, Iyanla made a point to speak to the women.  She wanted to assess their state of mind.   She wanted to get to the root of their issues.  She wanted to understand how these women could allow themselves to get involved with a man who had so many children prior to meeting them.  She wanted to understand how one man was able to romance his way into their hearts and disrupt all of their lives.



On the “reunion” episode with the mothers of Jay’s children, Iyanla made a very powerful statement to them as well as the other women in the audience.  She said, “You are NOT a victim and you have NOT been victimized.”  WOW!! What a powerful statement?  How many of us have been living our lives as victims of our circumstances?  How many of us feel victimized by our family and friends? How many of us are guilty of expressing victim type thoughts (i.e. He left me to raise these kids by myself; He left me for my best friend; Everybody hates me, etc)? All of these statements allow us to play the role of victim in our lives. They allow us to wallow in self-pity and are often used to get people to empathize with us. 

Iyanla’s statement cut me to the core.  It really made me sit down and think.  Have I been living my life as a victim and not a victor?  My faith teaches me that Jesus has overcome the world and in Him I am victorious.  Although I know this to be true, I really had to look deep within myself to find the answer to this question.  It made me consider whether or not I was actually living up to my faith.  It made me question if I really believed what I said I believed.  How can one statement be so profound that it can cause me to look at my life in such a different perspective? It was literally eye-opening.

I will admit that I have been guilty of making such statements.   I have even played the victim a time or two.   However, what I have learned is that I had to let go of that type of thinking and replace it with something more positive. I also learned that I have to take responsibility for the role I played in the things that have happened to me.  I have come to realize that everything that I have been through in my life is designed to teach me a lesson and to lead me closer to my purpose.  Most importantly, I have to start speaking and living like a victorious person.

What would happen if you stopped looking at your life through the eyes of a victim?  What would happen if you chose to speak life over yourself and your situation?  What would it take for you to start living a victorious life?  Remember, your life is your testimony so live it victoriously!!!

Tonya D. Zeigler


Comments

Book Launch & Live Poetry Reading....

11/13/2014

Comments

 
Picture
The Journey of “From Pain 2 Poetry” began almost 2 years ago with the 2nd of 4 Volumes having been recently released. From Pain 2 Poetry: Taking Off the Mask, Vol. 2 is very different from the first as it seeks to bring light to a woman’s need to deal with her own issues, many of which are self-imposed. In this volume, Dawn-Charmel brings to light the unthinkable notion that a woman could allow her daughter’s “treasure” to be stolen in an effort to please her significant other in her poem, “Stolen Treasure.” Cassandra delves into the fascination of the black woman’s hips, lips, breasts, and thighs with her poem, “I am Sarah Baartman.”  Sarah Baartman was put on display for the entire world to see and treated as if she was a side show. Cassandra notes that today’s young women treat themselves as side shows by putting their bodies on display for the entire world to see. Yes, some women have done and continue to do the unthinkable, but triumph awaits as you continue to turn the pages. Tonya encourages each and every woman reading this book to “Rise Up” as she boldly declares that women are resilient and can rise above anything. Last, but not least, Martha seeks to encourage women to love themselves with her poem “I Love Me.” Martha explains that her love for herself is so deep that it can’t be touched and notes that other women ought to learn to love themselves the same. God created them in His image; therefore, they should not deny themselves of one of the greatest gifts ever given, “love.”

Pick up your copy TODAY!
Comments
    Click here to take survey
    Picture
    Picture

     Subscribe in a reader


    Archives

    July 2017
    March 2017
    April 2016
    January 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    March 2013
    October 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Jobs

Post a Job!
$20 for 100 days

                                                                                                    © 2012 Copyright The Bag Lady Experience, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Photos used under Creative Commons from martinak15, Gustavo Minas, L`Yoshka